My name is Ifechi Japhet Nwaorisa, and I am writing these words with both fear and hope in my heart.
I am Nigerian. I am gay. And in my country, these two parts of my identity are not allowed to coexist peacefully.
I grew up in Owerri, surrounded by the warmth of family gatherings, the rhythm of Igbo highlife music, the taste of ofe nsala at Sunday dinners, and the strong sense of community that makes home feel like home. I excelled in school, made my parents proud, and dreamed of contributing to my nation’s future. But there was always a part of me I had to hide – a part that, if revealed, could cost me everything.
In Nigeria, loving someone of the same gender can lead to 14 years in prison. But the law is only part of the story. The real punishment comes from society itself: families that disown their children, communities that turn violent, employers who fire without hesitation, and a silence so heavy it suffocates.
I’ve watched friends beaten in the streets. I’ve attended secret funerals for those who took their own lives rather than face another day of hiding. I’ve memorized escape routes from my own apartment in case neighbors become suspicious. I’ve learned to erase my digital footprint, to speak in codes, to love in whispers.
But this is not just my story. This is about all of us.
When we force people to hide who they are, we lose doctors who could save lives, teachers who could inspire generations, engineers who could build our future, and artists who could tell our stories. We create a society built on fear rather than truth, on conformity rather than innovation.
I am not asking you to agree with everything about my life. I am asking you to see my humanity. I pay my taxes. I help my neighbors. I care for my aging parents. I dream of a better Nigeria. The only difference is who I love.
What can change?
- Decriminalization: Love is not a crime. Our laws should protect citizens, not persecute them.
- Education: Many of the myths about LGBTQ+ people are based on misinformation. Truth dissolves fear.
- Safety: Everyone deserves to live without fear of violence or persecution.
- Dialogue: We cannot solve what we refuse to discuss openly.
To my fellow Nigerians: I am your brother, your colleague, your neighbor. I am not your enemy. I am not a threat to our culture or values – I am part of our culture.
To allies around the world: Your voices matter. Pressure on governments, support for human rights organizations, and platforms for silenced voices can create change.
To others living in hiding: You are not alone. Your life has value. Hold on.
I write this knowing it may bring consequences. But silence has its own cost, and I am tired of paying it.
My name is Ifechi Japhet Nwaorisa. I am Nigerian. I am gay. And I am human.
That should be enough.
